Paragraph Revision

Before:

Over the course of the film, Herzog makes it quite clear that he disagreed with Treadwell’s view on the natural world and Treadwell’s actions towards the bears in general, and that he thought Treadwell was also very misguided in his actions. Herzog does this by clearly stating his own views on nature as having this “invisible borderline” that Treadwell ended up crossing during his work. His clips also showed that almost everybody he interviewed that was not already a close friend of Treadwell’s (and even some that were, such as Mr. Queeny), disagreed with Treadwell’s actions. Dr. Haakanson even noted that not only did Timothy probably do more harm to the bears than he helped them by decreasing the bear’s fear of humans, but that he thought that Timothy had performed “the ultimate of disrespecting the bears and what the bear represents” and he too thought that Treadwell crossed an invisible boundary. Herzog also frequently contrasts what he perceived Treadwell’s view on nature to be with his own views on the subject (“I discover no kinship, no understanding …I see only the cold indifference of nature…But for Timothy Treadwell, this bear was a friend, a savior.”). He also tended to portray Treadwell as very naïve and unable to comprehend Herzog’s view on nature (“He seemed to ignore the fact that in nature there are predators”). He also contrasts Treadwell’s views on how in danger he thought the bears were with the statements in the interviews that poaching was not really a large problem in the area, especially compared to the poaching in other places around the world.

After some Revision:

Over the course of the film, Herzog criticizes Treadwell’s view on the natural world and his actions towards bears in general. He does this by stating his own view on nature having an “invisible borderline” that Treadwell ends up crossing during his work. His clips show that almost everybody he interviewed that was not already a close friend of Treadwell’s (and even some that were, such as Mr. Queeny), disagreed with Treadwell’s actions. Dr. Haakanson even notes that not only had Timothy probably harmed the bears by dampening their fear of humans, but that he had performed “the ultimate of disrespecting the bears and what the bear represents”. Haakanson too thinks that Treadwell overstepped an invisible boundary. Also, Herzog frequently contrasts what he perceives as Treadwell’s view on nature with his own views on the subject (“I discover no kinship, no understanding …I see only the cold indifference of nature…But for Timothy Treadwell, this bear was a friend, a savior.”). He portrays Treadwell as very naïve and unable to comprehend Herzog’s view on nature (“He seemed to ignore the fact that in nature there are predators”). He also differs with Treadwell on how threatened the bears were, with statements in the interviews revealing that poaching was not really a large problem in the area, especially compared to poaching in other places around the world.